The nonsensical ideas of a sinner

Oh what heartache, what despair. What is this thorn? what is it that would drive me to such ends? How might I stumble upon this path? How I long and ache. I feel called to battle, i feel called to wield the blade. But what enemy do I run to fight? Oh but it is my self that I rush to meet upon those bloodied fields. What is it that makes ones self the enemy? Why must I do this to myself? I must not continue but another minute sitting here with my thoughts, I must take action. For no battle was ever won by a man consumed with his thoughts, the battle is won by the man who takes action. Oh but now the question is what is the action that one must take? Do I take up my sword? Or do I put on the armor? Where may I rest my head? Where may my heart rest? Where may I find understanding, and right thinking, that I may put this enemy behind me and move on? Oh what is this enemy within! Oh how my anger burns against this one!