sorrow

Oh such sorrow that fills my heart. What i would wish that my life be taken from me if only that she would come to know the Lord. Oh how much pain that fills my heart constantly knowing that if she does not come to know the Lord then she will perish and be eternally separated from the Lord. Oh how i am brought to the depths of the ocean with sadness, how could my heart break any more? My love abounds for her so much that i can not stand it! How earnestly I desire her to see the truth and bask in the love of Christ. Oh what a joy it would be to see her passionately loving the Lord.

Oh she can never understand the love i have for her. Oh the sadness that i have brought her breaks my heart. Wish i would have been taken to be with the Lord sooner that she may have never felt such sorrow and for I to have never seen the tears in her eyes.

Oh how my words could never articulate the depth of my sorrow and the gravity of my heart. Every time I am reminded of the consequences of my sin which has affected her in such a way i am completely left in utter despair. Is this the way that God must speak to me of the brevity of my sin? Am i so apathetic to my sin and the weight of my consequences that now it must hurt others who i care so intensely for so that I can wake up?!

Oh what a sinful man I am! That I am so jaded to the seriousness of my sin that i completely disregard everything except now, when it has plunged me to the depths! And yet i am still thinking about how my sin affected her rather than how my sin affected God!